Monday, October 25, 2010

i move in water, shore to shore

there will be a period of days where i'll believe everything will be okay. and everything will fall into place if i just leave it alone. but it's so brief: it's momentary bliss.

there's always something that pulls me back to reality.
whether it's a song or some place I walk by. perhaps it's a certain time of the day. whatever it is, it wakes me up from a state of optimism. but it doesn't drop me into a full state of depression nor does it make me any less optimistic. it just adds a dose of realism; I willingly accept the idea that things can go wrong but i'm willing to fix it, to endure it all. afterall, i'm are only human.

after enduring certain hardships, i realize that i can still be content with my dreams and my fears. they can coincide and it won't end up in a bloody battle. sometimes, i let my fears get a hold of me and i fall deep into this sadness. it pulsates with my heart, breathing in my thoughts. but then i find it slowly fades as i leave it be. i embrace it and love it. and i feel its rough hands slipping off my skin. that's when i know i made it through another boisterous wave.

these lessons are ones i continue to learn and grow from. these lessons are experiences i continue to live through. i know it won't end yet. i'm not ready. i'll continue to make more mistakes and live life recklessly. and at the end of the day, i know i'll come back to the same beginning. but there will always be different endings.

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