I want this to be the last time I cry over him.
I thought that there would be a good chance things would work out. I had high hopes and perhaps that was wrong to begin with. I just did not see us ending the way it is now. He had proved me wrong while we were together; he showed me putting a little trust in him did not hurt, sharing thoughts would not throw him off. Most importantly, coming out from hiding was a good thing. Except that was the summer and we've moved into a new season. Now, I don't know who he is. I don't hear from him unless I make the effort to text him. I never hear from him first. He comforted me by whispering sweet hopes into my ear and now, I can see they were sweet nothings. Perhaps everything he said was the truth back then, but they've turned into lies. I don't doubt that he meant what he said in that moment he said it. But of course, change occurs. It's inevitable. Was I naive or stupid for believing in him?
And tonight, I am finding myself waiting by the phone. He agreed to see each other this weekend. I don't know what happened. I could text him again to arrange everything but how many chances can one get? How many times is too many? In a way, this is a post to help say goodbye. It's my way to receive closure just for myself--no one else.
Closure is all I want. I just wish I got it differently.