Thursday, September 20, 2012
After what had happened, I had forgotten how to become intimate with another being. I flourished and grew to find self-love as well as pure joy for those around me but I have been pushing people away so desperately and intensely, I had left myself untouched. I am not talking about the rushed, abrupt and planned touching. No, this touching is the type which interrupts the peaceful silence; it is the type of touching which means more than words and can say a thousand words in the span of five seconds. This touching is slow and gentle, rhythmic and soothing. But he reminded me that things were not so bad and that I was in safe hands. Though doubt kept me cautious and alert, I feel like he erased a thin layer of the fear underlying the idea of intimacy. It was not much, but having another human being so close to me, breathing in unison and feeling the warm breath on my ear was therapeutic. I just don't know what it means anymore.