Friday, October 14, 2011

Lessons to be Learned

Carissa Rae ft. Michael Alvarado - Sway (cover)

Sorry for the lack of better posts. It seems like these days pass by with no distinct markers to help me differentiate one day from the next. Lately, it has been a bit of a struggle for me to be productive because I seem to have hit a small rut. Emotionally, I am feeble and longing for something so much more. As much as I hate to admit it, I have been more than lonely; it is that nagging empty feeling deep within that echoes within my ribcage. 

I am learning a hard lesson in love. 

What is it about me that makes me too readily for love? Too easy to forgive and too hard to release? I am full of love and compassion but I need the right reasons to put forth that love. I put too much energy into one person and wind up exhausted. I have not learned from previous lessons because I am eager; young and naive, I jump forward without looking and quickly feel fear mid-leap. The overwhelming nervousness fuels my actions as I desperately try to gain back that control I gave away. 

But I am trying nonetheless.  I promise, I will never stop loving and work on self compassion.