Friday, November 5, 2010


tonight was an interesting night. it had its ups and downs but one thing is for sure: i feel so blessed to be surrounded by friends who love me and are always there for me.

I am so giddy from this evening's situation at the cafe.
Dinner with old friends is probably one of the best feelings one can get.
Wine is good.
Headaches are bad.

Tonight, I feel how much I've been burying but I realized, it's not answers I need. It's a way to move on. I need to learn how to forgive and forget. I am aware of just how bitter I am with relationships. I love but I don't give it out often enough. I live through fear, loss, disbelief. It's not like I asked to be like this. And I am trying to change. But it's become second nature to put up that wall. I am afraid of taking certain risks. I am afraid because I don't know how to let go.

I assure you, I am not okay but life is about trying and that is exactly what I'm doing.
I am trying to learn how to overcome my fears.

Plus, I'm rather tipsy from the red wine I've been drinking tonight so if nothing I said makes sense...that's too bad.

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