Wednesday, June 9, 2010


I wake up and keep my eyes closed. I desperately try to fall back asleep but my heart doesn't feel right. It's fluttering and rests lightly within me. My pulse beats strongly--it's a liar. I breathe in deep to steady my heart.

I roll to my side and stare at my bare legs sticking out form under the covers. They look dark and smooth as I admire them from afar. They patiently wait for someone to love them and accept them as a part of me.

I roll onto my other side now. Faith Hill plays in one ear as rain hits the window pane. What a strange feeling, to wake up to the sound of rain. It makes me feel sad but in a romantic way. Does that make sense? Let me test that out: I am romantically sad. Well, it may not make perfect sense but you can imagine the sadness one portrays in a movie and transfer their emotion here. It's close enough.

My arm is numb from resting my head on it. I don't move it in hopes that the hurt from my heart will somehow transfer to my arm. There's some psychological term for it. Wait. Isn't that to describe some psychological disorder? Never mind then.

I turn onto my back now. I look up and see the paper cranes I hung about half a year ago. They are so still, they look frozen in time. They come to life as I start to blow at them. They are so graceful as they spin around.

Suddenly, they are frozen in time once again.

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