Summer Cruising Post

I spent eight gorgeous days out in the Caribbean with my family. I feel revived and re-energized to take on whatever challenges are presented my way. This trip has proven that this world is full of life. We define life through our culture; our practices, traditions, language. Life is universal and I am so glad I had the opportunity to explore this small corner of the Earth.

I went snorkeling in St. Thomas, horseback riding in Antigua and bargained with all the small shops in Tortola. I soaked up the sunny days of 30+ degrees Celsius and felt the warm breeze as 2000 of us sped through the Atlantic Ocean.

Our ship for 8 days.

Welcome to Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

We were spoiled for a whole week, lavished with food of all sorts.

This little guy was weaving around all the small souvenir shops.

There is something freeing about walking around Nassau with a beer in hand.

A random cigarette dispenser in Nassau.
.

How much this world offers.

-t

Horseback riding in Antigua (August 17th, 2011)

Unfortunately, I did not carry my camera in fear of either damaging it or losing it so here is the best description I can give and a googled image to give you an idea of how beautiful it was.

It was three hours of an indescribable scenic trip. Sitting on top of the house was a nerve wracking and thrilling moment. As a little girl I've dreamt over and over again of the opportunity of being able to touch and share the presence with a horse. Holding the saddle, the reigns, being in control of the horse--it was all beautiful. The quiet sound of the hooves hitting the dirt; its gentle canter; the steady breaths of the horse--it left me breathless. The leaves brushed the top of my helmet as I was led through a serene forest. Along the beach, we left subtle prints in the soft, white sand. The waves washed in and out, painting the white a bright aquamarine for just those three seconds. The sweat on my forehead went unnoticed as joy and peace both flooded within me. The gentle breeze left my ponytail in a tangle as we trotted along the shores of the island. In that moment, I felt a new kind of freedom. One which involved lighter lessons in life; a type of freedom which allowed me to greet everyone with casual 'how do you do's' accompanied with genuine smiles.

-t

morning thunderstorm

Waking up to a thunderstorm this morning brought me back to Sunday afternoon.

We got caught in the rain as we were buckling on the covers for the boat. We ran along the dock and dirt path as the rain pelted our bare backs. It was humid and the skies were grey but our smiles triumphed the storm. We stayed outdoors and stood in the rain; it hit us hard and fast as our laughter continued to echo throughout the area. The cold rain woke us up, cooled our hot skin and fed us energy to run around some more. Standing on the porch, we breathed in the dirt and the earthy scent that rose from the ground. Everything was alive as we watched the rain slide easily down our arms, hair, bodies.  And with heavy breaths we tiptoed back through the doors, dripping, but filled with serenity and content.

Being twenty, I have never purposely stood in the middle of a heavy rainfall. But I had never felt so alive and at peace with myself—I absolutely loved it.

-t

Bon Iver Concert

Tonight I had the opportunity to go see Justin Vernon and his very talented band members play at the Sound Academy. I must say, he knows how to own the stage and work it. While he is shy you can tell he is passionate about what he does and there is no doubt that his hard work is paying off. I won't speak too much about the show. All I can say is that if you ever have the chance, go see him perform. He is truly a great artist. I swallowed the drum beats and felt my heart shake tonight--I loved it.

The end.


-t

Cottage Weekend

Here are a few photos from the cottage. I could not have been more privileged to have had the opportunity to surround myself with such great people for an entire weekend.


-t

weekend update post

I already miss waking up to silence and simplicity.

This past weekend was mind-opening. I discovered a little bit more about social interaction and how easy it is for me to slip into the background to become the observer. I do not show enthusiasm the same way most of my friends do; I absorb and keep everything to myself when I am in the moment. There is no screaming or laughing loudly—just a smile and acceptance.

Late Saturday night we decided to go for a swim in the river. It was pitch black and when we looked up, stars were sprawled across the dark canvas of a sky. It was beautiful. Breathing in deep, the aroma of trees, fresh lake water and burnt coal filled our lungs. We felt invincible. We stripped down and all jumped in; some from the dock and some from the back of the boat. It was glorious to hear the splashes—we broke the midnight silence. We all crawled out of the lake and tore off our bikinis and swim trunks. We were born again. The water was cold and the air was humid. It was one blessing as we all jumped into the water again and again, and again. The water glistened in the moonlight as our bare bodies glided through the water.

I truly lived this weekend.

(pictures to come)

-t

unexpected feelings

There are some people you meet once upon a time. These individuals never left a mark or even came close to giving you some sort of impression. And these individuals leave after a short time. And you go on living; you continue to grow without them and you forget who they are. And after years of forgotten memories and faint smiles, you see them again. But you meet them in a more isolated environment; free from the outsiders and their influences—you see them in a new light. You notice the slight changes in their appearance and the colour of their eyes. You take one step closer and feel the genuine good nature of this individual. And without even knowing, this individual has managed to seep into your thoughts.

And tonight I cannot stop but think back.

-t

She woke up with the soft linen tangled around one leg; breasts exposed and bangs fell over her eyes.  She slowly closed her eyes and listened to the gentle hum of the air conditioning system outside her window. She breathed in the faint aroma od sweat and old Burberry perfume. Eyes still closed, she reached for her blanket and pulled it up to her chest and rolled over onto her ivory pale stomach. Slowly, one eye opened and then the other. She stared at her reflection as her vision slowly came into focus. Nothing seemed to have changed about her body. But the more she stared, the more she noticed it.

Her shoulders were dark from being out in the sun and her bikini tan peeked out from under her underwear. No, there were no extreme changes and yet, she saw it. The contour of her body, the expression on her face—that neutral expression; nothing had changed. What she saw was the change that had occurred on the inside. It shone from her eyes and it changed the way she carried herself. She had lost many things along the way but she had gained so much more in return.

She closed her eyes.

Upclose and personal

Waking up to another beautiful sunny day reminds me that while problems do not disappear overnight, you regain that energy after a night’s rest. We are all meant to be fighters; we each have our own strategies and game plan but our goal is to overcome defeat and walk with our chests held high.

My latest fight has been against self-control. It is something that I have lost these past few days. My head was spinning feelings of excitement and nervousness; my feelings were tossing and turning as I tried to understand where this surge of thrill came from. You gave me exactly the right amount of hope to leave me wanting more and I despise you for that. I cannot say you did it intentionally but I do know you are mindful of how I feel towards you (to say the least). I think I just need to make it clear that I have not given up on you, I have simply given up on waiting. I have lost the patience with men who cannot seem to walk out of their comfort zone. There were moments when I truly believed that things would finally work out but I was definitely wrong. I do not think I am naïve; I am not foolish; I am most definitely not wrong in any sense for wanting to pursue this. I am simply a young woman who is a little tired of being her own support system.

This is not a post about yearning and needing. It is one where I am owning up to my own mistakes and reminding myself that I went for it rather than chicken out and wonder about all those ‘what-ifs’. I do not regret a single moment because I know that there will always be something between us; a slight tension that hangs heavy on every word we exchange with each other. Is this suffering? I do not think so. In fact, it is simply the celebration of feelings. Human beings feel and that is exactly what we are doing.

always thinking,
-t

(old)

I have not posted anything for a while so I dug this up from my old drafts and tweaked it:

Things have changed for her; she bites her tongue everytime she senses the tears rising, like the rapid waves that hit the shore with such great force. With strenuous effort, she takes deep breathes in and tilts her head up—working with gravity to keep them in. The walls are only blurry for a moment and then, everything that had rose in fury within her dies. Swallowing every fear she had felt, she licks her lips and speaks with a crackle in her voice. No longer does she let them slide down her soft skin; the strange tingle in her throat and eyes do not exist anymore.